I Hurt I Have Never Known

I have never felt so alone as I have these past few days. Today is the worst it has been and I am sure it hasn't peaked. I have so many things swimming through my head and it is as if I can't catch a single one long enough to actually think about it. I feel hated, deserted, alone, cold, sad, and a thousand other things that make me physically ill. I can't sleep or be awake each are too hard to do right now. I find myself saying forget about it all and move on. Though, I can't move on because there are certain things each of need to push on, to excel, to live life. When you have finally found that thing that motivates you and you lose it somehow it is a whirlwind. You have no idea which way is the right way, or where the right path will even take you.

I do not mean career, school, or religious wise either. I mean emotionally, and personally. I feel as if I am crippled and have no one to help me, to speak with, to understand me. Likewise, I feel a absence or a hole in my heart because someone isn't confiding in me. I feel like a useless vessel stranded on an arctic sea. Cold, alone, and the waves are splashing all around pushing me in no particular direction.