At A Turning Point

I find myself getting less and less stable. I need something in my life that gives me some emotional stability. I look to the Lord constantly for advice and I know he is watching over me and blessing my life with what I do have. Though, there is something still missing. It is eating away at me. I often push away the people that mean the most to me and I can not find a reason. I do it then regret it and yet I think it was a good thing for some reason. I know that that doesn’t make much sense but that’s the way I feel. I do not know what to do some times and I lose myself to my temper and emotions. It truly is something I need help on and I pray that God will somehow help me find a way to straighten myself out. I can think of a hundred reasons for my problems. Though, I refuse to blame anything but myself. It is me that brings on my own pain. No excuses. It is my own doing that screws my life up and I need to be the one to bring it back together. I am lost right now… I do not know what to do to attain this. I think more and more each day that I just need to get away and start over. I need to do something with my life that I can be proud of. That’s why more of me everyday believes I should just enlist now and start a new chapter of my life sooner than later. I don’t want to be so far gone in a year that I no longer care. That I no longer care enough about my own future to make the right choices. The next few days, maybe weeks will be crucial in determining the rest of my life.