Not Going To Fool Anyone

Back hundreds of years ago there was this village. All the people were looking forward to this upcoming celebration and the towns folk were all asked to give one bottle of their best wine to fill a great community keg, that would be drank on the day of the celebration. One person decided that since the great container was so large that if he filled his bottle with water the dilution would be so small that no one would be able to tell the difference. He did this, emptying his bottle in to the large container. The day of the celebration quickly arrived and the great container was finally tapped. To everyone's amazement only water poured from the tap. Each person in the town had thought that they could get away with one bottle of water.

This story tells of a few lessons. The first and most important being that trust is the backbone of almost every situation. You have to be able to trust those around you and others have to have trust in you. Everything will fall apart without it. The next is that this is a big world but if you do not do your part even the slightest lie could become something of concern. Be fair...do not try to cheat others you will just be cheating yourself and those around you will be hurt.

In Times Of Trial

There are few people you can count on with 100% certainty. The people that would go out of their way to help you out in whatever way necessary. They are there for you when you are down and out and also celebrate the good times and make you smile. You call them simply your best friends, though there is nothing simple about it. This is a very complex and meaningful term. Our best friends last a lifetime. Not many things or people in our lives can claim that. What we would do without someone to help pick us up when the life has knocked us down? When the journey seems to long who would encourage us to push on? Show us the good in the worst of times? And even tell us when we are wrong? Not many people fulfill all of those requirements to be called my best friend. Though, I am lucky enough to know that I do have a handful. Those qualities listed above are my requirements only because my best friends have set the bar. They go above and beyond. Best friends are more like brothers. They have grown with you, they have lived with you, they have: cried, laughed out loud, and even fought with you.

You all know who you are. I thank you for being who you are and for making the impact on my life that you have. Keep doing what your doing and so will I.

Love You

What Did It For Me

I went to go watch a Red Sox game up in Boston a couple years back. I was driving up with two other Sigma Chi's and we realized that we were not going to want to make that drive back home later that night. So, I had one of our fellow brothers back at school text me some information on a couple Presidents of local chapters in Boston. I began calling around. Northeastern chapter didn't respond, so I called the MIT chapter. He greeted me warmly and invited us to their house. They were in the middle of dry rush (meaning no drinking) which was kind of a bummer cause we were looking to have a couple beers. However, they offered us a couple burgers and a place to park our car for the game (they were less than 4 blocks away). They also offered us a place to sleep if we could not find anything else. Their president gave me the contact information of the Harvard chapter's president. I gave him a call and he informed me that they ran on a different calendar and were not in school or at their chapter house. But there was one guy who lived not too far away from the chapter house and he would speak to the guy for me. A little while later I got a call from the local brother. He gave us directions and asked us to meet him at the chapter house. We finally found it and consequently found him. He was waiting for us on the street. I went up to him and introduced myself and the other guys. He tested me to make sure I was a Sigma Chi and immediately opened up the house and said his goodbyes.

At first I was shocked that he didn't even walk us around the house to find out more information about us. I mean we met for less than 2 minutes and he trusted us with the house. When else in anyone's travels, relationships or whatever has someone been trusted so quickly. That Harvard brother knew we were Sigma Chi's. That is all that he had to know. We share an instant bond that goes beyond time, or place. That bond that comes from lofty goals, shared ideals and principles instilled in us all as Sigma Chi's. We took a quick tour of the house it seemed as the brothers that lived here just left all their personal belongings: laptops, i-pods, cameras, etc. It just further exemplified the trust he had for us.

To this day I have been chapter President, gone to province conferences, been to Balfour Leadership Training Workshop in Missouri, visited numerous chapters, bumped into random Sigs, and met many other alumni. However, my defining moment as a Sigma Chi is that time we were given the Harvard house for the night. True Brotherhood. That will last forever because of an eternal bond.

The Way Things Are

What happens, happens for a reason. it is only human to question the events of our lives, but it is our faith that gives us hope to realize that God wanted life the way it is. Live your life from day to day. Deal with what happens in the best way you can. Have faith and trust in others. The world still has some good people in it. You are defined by what you do and who you surround yourself with. So, make sure you do what is good for you now and your future...keeping in mind there is more than this mortal world.

What Is Your Agenda?

Meaning what you say vs. just saying it.

I am sick and tired to people saying and doing things just to get some persons approval. Why do they take part in this behavior? My opinion is that they are very insecure and without any confidence. In order to find this confidence they suck up to the people in their lives. They agree or say what they what to hear just for the person to agree with them. By getting the person to agree with them they feel confident in themselves and what they have just said so it becomes their personal truth or actually believe what they have just said...because of that self-confidence boost. To them pleasing other people for self benefit is like a drug. It fuels their confidence and takes away from their insecurity.

Tell people HOW IT REALLY IS they will respect you for it. They don't want to hear sugar plums and rainbows all the time. Be real. Be real to yourself and those around you. Mean what you tell people, forget about what you think they want to hear. Stop putting yourself first when it hurts others. There is a time and place to put yourself first, but not at the cost of hurting other people.

That Invisable Cloud

I hate the saying, "love is blind" because to a vast extent it is true. Love is so blinding in fact that it manipulates the person under its power. It can convince you of things even if you thought the opposite, it turns irrationality into rationality. I have fallen in love and consequently have been living in a sort of cloudy world. I would see things, hear things, and look at actions but I could not see through them. I was not able to see the attended meaning because they were covered by this cloud. That cloud that blinds you while you are in love is very dangerous. It convinced me that I was wrong when I was not, it made me believe I had to change, it actually made me hurt. Love is not suppose to hurt. I realize that love hurts when it is one of the two people under the spell. The actual true love I am talking about goes like this: it is the type of attachment and companionship that has you believe you don't need another person in this world, it is the type of feeling deep in your chest that when your significant other is sick or unhappy you feel their pain but also that you would go to the ends of the earth to have them feel better for even just one minute, it is when you wake up in the morning and can't wait to talk to them, it is when you think this is going to be the greatest day of your life because you have woke up next to them, it is when love goes beyond words but you still try using every word in the dictionary to let them know you love them. To me love is very painful because this is the only kind I have known for a long while. The love I give is true, genuine, honest and filled to the brim with good intentions. However, this love is not never ending. I do not believe in the notion that once you have loved someone part of your heart will always be theirs. I am being hypocritical here because I use to think this, but times have changed the way I see the world and the people in it. It is possible to erase love. Once that cloud has been lifted you are able to see clearly. So, clearly that everything comes back. You can remember everything and how it happened back when you were in love, after the cloud has been lifted. Taking the blame for a fight, decided it was better just to agree, put off something in your life, been taken for granted. All of these things are not love. These are all things that contribute to the destruction of love. If you are wrong then admit it, otherwise don't. If it is your opinion then stick to it, do not change your ideas for someone else. If you want to do something in your life, then do it. If you ever have done something so thoughtful and nice and not gotten a thank you do not push it aside, you need to talk about how that hurts you. I am guilty of not doing the right thing when it came to feeling unloved. It just builds up more and more until you can't handle it anymore. This is not healthy for any relationship, even if both partners do love each other. The point of this post is try and lift that cloud if it makes you hurt, try and see clearly. Being in love and having it returned back to you is the greatest feeling in this world. When you have it cherish it and make it last, but make it last because of hard work, and good intentions. And when you start to doubt someone elses love for you, you probably have a legitimate concern. Deal with it sooner than later.

The Loss Of Sight

I do not mean literally the ability to see. Though, the type I am concerned with is equally as devastating and blinding. It is the forgetting or jumping off track of vision, goals, or that ever present quest of getting as close as possible to ideals. We do whatever we can to reach these things and then set our sights on new points of interest. However, sometimes we veer off in different directions because of outside influences, changes in what we want, or for any other reason your aim has become skewed.

If you are one of these people that have been influenced in some way or another to abandon the righteous things that once drove you to be a better person this post is for you. I understand that we all have choices to make. Choices that dictate your future and sometimes the future of others. When you lose sight of the things that once drove you what has your life become but a hollow shell for evil influences to fill. Hopefully, though unfortunately doubtful such qualities as: integrity, honor, love, and trust do not drive all of us. This post is for you if you are driven by only making a dollar, or if you sell others out for self benefit, or if you find joy in the belittling of others, or have forgotten who put you on this earth (not your mom and dad), or any other viscous, cruel, or terrible thing done to your fellow humans. Do to those as you want to be done to you. Meaning treat people how you would want to be treated; in all situations.

When the loss of sight occurs people change and become something that they never thought they could be. Though, they do not realize the transformation. It takes a good friend, a strong family member, a realization in Christ. To change these people once something like this happens. If you know someone that has lost sight in anything, I challenge you to help them find their way.

Do Your Part

A story was once told to me years ago by a dear friend. It is a story of helping out the world on whatever scale you can. The story goes as follows:

A old man walked out to a beach. This particular beach was miles long in either direction. However, in front of him was the only other person on the entire beach. It was a young boy. The old man did not notice until he walked a little closer to the shoreline that the beach was covered with hundreds if not thousands of starfish. The little boy was by the water throwing the starfish back into the water. One by one. He watched for a couple minutes as the boy went on throwing the starfish back. The old man thinking to himself, that the boy had not even made a dent in the amount of starfish left on the beach, he decided to go talk the boy out of the useless activity. As the old man approached the boy he hollered "son what are you doing!?" the boy replied "saving the starfish by throwing them back into the ocean." The old man became aggravated and said, "you could never save them all, it's not worth it!" The little boy keep doing what he was doing and and the next one he picked up he said back to the old man, "to this starfish it is worth it." He picked up the next and said the same thing. The old man got the young boys point and left the boy on the beach to save as many starfish as he could.

This story is about doing what you can to make a difference. The world is filled with people, animals, and other things that could use a little help. This boy was young and saw starfish drying up and dying on the beach. He did not think he could help them all. He knew he would not be able to save each and everyone. However, he knew he could help some of them and he did! If each of us take a little time out of our day to help out in some way this world would be a better place. That sounds very cliche I know but the fact is that so many of us go on with our days without a thought other than that about ourselves or someone really close to us. Branch out. How and why anyone could forget about their fellow human beings, I will never know. Recession, depression. NO. There are people out there who are having some bad times, yes. Lost jobs, maybe a house. But there are also people who never had a decent job (not because they did not try, just never had the opportunity), never had a place to call home. I have met some of these people. I worked for toys for tots (community service for a speeding ticket), soup kitchens, and department of family services for Connecticut. Give a dollar each and every time you come across someone who needs it (it's a dollar), donate clothes or books or toys (not for a tax deduction but because it will make someone elses life better), work for a charity for an hour of time each week or month, or every six months. The fact is that every little bit counts. Be that young boy! Be that young boy more often!

Forgetting Your Youth

As we grow up we hear stories from many people about their youths. They tell us to take advantage of being young and being able to live our lives carefree. You don't hear many stories from people older than you about how they went out last weekend and had a great time with friends and/or family. Or how on a random Tuesday (or any day) they were spontaneous and did something fun. These stories really are far and few between. This is not the way life should be lived. That statement is the point of this post.

I learned a saying at my time at Western Connecticut State University. It was taught to me during pledgeship of the Sigma Chi Fraternity. One of the principles Sigma Chi's follow is "retain your spirit of youth". This term/principle/ideal/value whatever you want to call it and however you personally see it is up to you. However, if you live your life with this phrase along with other noble qualities you never have to grow "old". By this I mean as you get older more and more responsibilities come about and tend to take over your life, but if you take the time to live and have fun with life you never have to lose that elusive quality. I say grasp a hold of your spirit of youth and live life to have fun the best you can each and everyday. If you have to sacrifice something to make your life better and the lives around you better then there is no question about the decision you should make. We are on this earth one, short time. It flies by. Make the most of your days. I can honestly say if you live to be happy you will have no regrets. Do the things that bring you joy, keep those around you that make you happy and toss out everything that brings you down. You wake up everyday with a clean slate. 12, 14, 16, 18 hours however long you will be awake for, on any give day, you have those hours of that day to live happy. Make the most of your life. Skip a day of work for a day of fishing, shopping, catching up with friends. Cut a class to call home, send an email to a old friend, watch your favorite movie, sit in the quad and love where you are. You can do anything you want it is your life, just make time for yourself to be happy.

When I Am Alone The Scents Of My Memories

There are a few things that I come across and remember vividly only when I am alone. The first that comes to mind is that smell right after a light rain in the early spring. It is fresh and clean. It reminds me of driving around for no other reason than not going home just yet. The next is that scent of a chilly night in the middle of fall. It is crisp and sharp. It strikes me with memories of the past. Running on the high school track, blasting the music in my car with the windows down with the heat on high because its just a little too cold. The next smell that I will always be able to remember is that of Lake Lauderdale. I grew up in the summers of my childhood on this lake in upstate New York. The scent I remember the most is that right before dusk. The lake has gone quiet. The fishermen have all started to leave their cabins and the water skiers are all turning in. The lake resembles a sheet of glass. Bullfrogs and owls start to call. The smell is of fresh, clean mountain air. Campfires all around are starting to be lit and the crackling of not fully seasoned wood could be heard. This is my favorite time or memory. I want these moments to last forever. I thank God that I have had the opportunity to experince this life, in this way. I can not wait for the memory to be renewed.

Getting Older

A few days ago I turned 24 years old. The day was mediocre at best. However, that is not the point of this post. I find myself recalling and remembering the past a lot lately. I often think of what I could have done and what I should have done, but also all of the great times that I have had. When I first starting thinking about the past I decided I should write a book about my life since high school. I have lived a full 24 years. I have known love, hate, sadness, happiness, and every emotion in between. I have lived through deaths, births, girlfriends, and the coming and going of friends. I have survived being punched, kicked, broken up with, embarrassment, and loneliness. Each of these feelings and more are something everyone should feel. Even if it is only once or twice. Character is developed in times of trial as well as times of joy and well being. I believe that I have witnesses and lived more in the 6 years or so I have roamed this earth since I graduated high school than most people my age. The book I am writing explains each situation in my life and how I learned or gained something from it. Maybe at first I did not realize the significance of the event but in retrospect it is easy to decipher the important lessons. The book speaks of my life up until this point. This blog will reveal the way I see the world now on a daily or somewhat daily basis.

My Life

The Truth As I See It

This blog is for the sole purpose of putting my thoughts to "paper". I will call it how I see it. Nothing less nothing more. If anyone wants to comment on my personal opinions please feel free. If you see something you do not agree with comment on it but do not judge me, simply state your opinion.



-Abideth Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love-