So...I failed my Vernon PD interview. It sucked at first but now I am over it. I learn a lot about the process. I took the interview and thought that I had did pretty well. It lasted about 30 minutes and then they asked me to take a seat outside. I waited for a few minutes and was invited back into the interview room. They had told me that I had really good opening and closing statements. That they took a lot of notes about my dedication to becoming a police officer. I only answered one of their questions wrong. I will not go into it because I do not want that to be held against me in future opportunities. Though, unless I was absolutely perfect I was not going to be passed to the next step. This was my first oral interview and as I have heard it takes the majority of candidates numerous times to pass it... I will NOT fail again. The oral board invited me back in and even though I guess they usually do not tell you what you did wrong they did me in a favor and explained that I had originally answered the question I got wrong right. Then they played mind games and tricked me out of my answer. So, it is what it is. From now on I will stick to my guns and go with my first answers.
I can not dwell in what could have been. I can only move ahead and set my sights on the next goal. Obtaining my CHIP card (the physical fitness exam). As, I am really sick right now this may be hard to do. I have about two weeks to get better but as you all know it takes me a while to recover sometimes. I'll pray.
Correction Officer scores come out early next week. I am excited to see how I did. I hope something comes through with this as it will be great job experience for future opportunities with the police.
In the next six months I could have up to eight more oral exams for police departments depending on invitations, and other exam scores. So, pray with me and have the Lord bless me and watch over me. Thank you.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Pressing On...Somehow
Going on with life. I have a lot of upcoming interviews, tests, and appointments. As much as life brings me down I have to push ahead and keep trying to improve my life.
March 11th - Interview for Vernon PD
March 16 - Correction Officer test results and physical fitness registration
March 28 - Police Officer Physical endurance test
April will include... Another police physical fitness try if I fail the first one, applications for two more police departments, the correction officer physical test, and hopefully more departments asking for me to interview.
For the interview on Wednesday I am going in clean shaven, this will be the first time in over 6 years that I will be baby faced. I hate it, haha. It will all come back so I am not too worried.
I am asking for all your prayers for this interview. If I pass it I immediately start the background check process and get fingerprinted, which moves me considerably closer to my goal, of becoming a cop.
The only thing about Vernon that worries me is that they are only hiring one candidate. There were like 300 people that started the process, 200 passed the written, and 40 were invited to interview. So, it is getting narrowed down but there are still 40 of us. I hope that none of the other candidates have personal connections with the department or anything like that, that will give them an advantage in some way. I can only do my best and I will.
March 11th - Interview for Vernon PD
March 16 - Correction Officer test results and physical fitness registration
March 28 - Police Officer Physical endurance test
April will include... Another police physical fitness try if I fail the first one, applications for two more police departments, the correction officer physical test, and hopefully more departments asking for me to interview.
For the interview on Wednesday I am going in clean shaven, this will be the first time in over 6 years that I will be baby faced. I hate it, haha. It will all come back so I am not too worried.
I am asking for all your prayers for this interview. If I pass it I immediately start the background check process and get fingerprinted, which moves me considerably closer to my goal, of becoming a cop.
The only thing about Vernon that worries me is that they are only hiring one candidate. There were like 300 people that started the process, 200 passed the written, and 40 were invited to interview. So, it is getting narrowed down but there are still 40 of us. I hope that none of the other candidates have personal connections with the department or anything like that, that will give them an advantage in some way. I can only do my best and I will.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Spring Ahead....Fall Behind. The Minutes Stay The Same
The days pass by at a much slower rate. At least that is how the past two weeks have felt. I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night. The day isn't filled with joy or happiness. Each day seems like it lasts so much longer because I have nothing to look forward to. Well at least nothing that brings love into my life. I press on only because hope is alive in my head and Christ in my heart. I strive to find the words, the actions, and some possible way to go back in time to make things right... a struggle without end it seems. I pray that God watch over me and help me through this time. Love always
Friday, March 6, 2009
A New Life
These past 5 days have been very tough. I did not follow my guidelines as strictly as I would have liked, however I accomplished everything I wanted to any more. I have taken a deep, long look at myself and who I am. By spending so much time by myself I truly believe that I am different. I have spent much of my time praying and feel a closer more personal relationship with God. Now, I want to make the relationships I have in my life more meaningful and stronger. I want to spend time with the people I love and care about. I am driving up to Keene state with Jon tonight to visit Matt for the weekend. The new me is here... from this point on I will only better myself and make sure I do not lapse into someone I do not want to be.
I fear it is to too late to fix some relationships. Maybe in time. Who knows. Though, I will always have a place in my heart for those people who do not want a part in my future, but were such a big part of my past. I will always have love.
I considered ending this blog after this week was over. I created it to help me get my thoughts out, but I have had a bunch of people (surprisingly) tell me that they read it and like my thoughts. So, I will continue to tell the world my feelings and inner most thoughts. Maybe we can all learn something together.
I fear it is to too late to fix some relationships. Maybe in time. Who knows. Though, I will always have a place in my heart for those people who do not want a part in my future, but were such a big part of my past. I will always have love.
I considered ending this blog after this week was over. I created it to help me get my thoughts out, but I have had a bunch of people (surprisingly) tell me that they read it and like my thoughts. So, I will continue to tell the world my feelings and inner most thoughts. Maybe we can all learn something together.
Raise Me Up
For me, hope is all I have to live for. Hope, that life will get better, I will be happy, I will find someone to spend forever with, hope that God will see me through this. Each day for the past week or two I waking up asking myself what I could have done to prevent this misery. I also answer that question each morning, however it doesn't ever give me any comfort. I go on with my days as a robot. I do what I know I have to do to get by and that is it. I pray to wake up one of these days knowing everything will be okay. I want to wake up thinking about the future, instead of dwelling in the past. What could have been, what should have been... it doesn't matter any more. I can not ask myself those questions, yet I am too weak.
Last night contained the weakest moments of my young life. I questioned God, and his plan. I have always been a strong believer in his plan. That everything happens for a reason. Last night I fell so low that it seemed I would never have enough strength to pick myself up. I will NEVER let that happen again. Again, I dedicate my life to Christ and ask for forgiveness.
I pray that my Lord watch over my family and friends, I pray he raise me up. I pray for new beginnings and a clean slate. I thank God for everything that he has given me and that he will continue to bless me and the people I know and love. I HAVE HOPE! I HAVE THE LORD!
Last night contained the weakest moments of my young life. I questioned God, and his plan. I have always been a strong believer in his plan. That everything happens for a reason. Last night I fell so low that it seemed I would never have enough strength to pick myself up. I will NEVER let that happen again. Again, I dedicate my life to Christ and ask for forgiveness.
I pray that my Lord watch over my family and friends, I pray he raise me up. I pray for new beginnings and a clean slate. I thank God for everything that he has given me and that he will continue to bless me and the people I know and love. I HAVE HOPE! I HAVE THE LORD!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Fate
I am experiencing a roller coaster ride of emotions. One minute I am doing alright and everything seems like it is getting better, then the next my heart is broken. I build myself up with different things and expressing myself to just be deflated by a single sentence here and there. Maybe I deserve that. I have been praying and hoping for anything to do to show the people in my life that they mean the world to me. Specific people anyhow. I think most of my friends and family know that I count on them everyday in different ways and I am grateful for everything they give me. For, those that I have either wronged or hurt or do not believe me. I am a new man. The past did happen, that was the old me, I take complete responsibility. That being said, the past is gone. It is a new day, a new way, a new me. Have faith.
I believe the reason all this is happening is to change me and the people around me. This change will allow for better relationships. So, that the problems of yesterday no longer can plague the days of tomorrow.
I believe the reason all this is happening is to change me and the people around me. This change will allow for better relationships. So, that the problems of yesterday no longer can plague the days of tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I Am Being Carried
Footprints In The Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
--Thank You
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
--Thank You
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