Calendar Date vs Quality Time

Time is relevant. Or maybe said better: time is not relevant, at least in the way most people view it. Let me explain. I have spent years with past girlfriends and developed what I considered loving relationships. From these past relationships I had come to believe that it was normal progression and maybe in a sense it was. Though, right now my past thinking has been blown out of the water. Let me further explain: in two months time I have completely and totally fallen in love unlike anything I have ever known. Two months may not seem like a long time but in those two months I have spent more time with this girl than I had in past relationships that spanned a year or more. Its because of the quality time we spend together at such a frequent rate that I have been able to develop feelings like this, that surpass lesser emotions. Of which took much longer to develop in the past, calendar wise. I hope that makes sense...reading it I'm not sure it does. Though, in my head it makes complete sense. By quality time I mean we have been able to open up to each other, understand each other, and bond over common future goals. I already feel as if I could finish some of her sentences. I love the fact that I know what she is thinking and what she is going to say even before the words leave her lips. At least some of the time. I am reminded more now than ever of that song "bless the broken road". Without our pasts there is no way we would have found each other. By that long road we somehow came together and formed this relationship that neither of us expected to find. It's just so 'fairy tale' it's hard to believe it can be real. Though, it most certainly is...I've never known anything as real as this. Or believed in true love more than I do now. It does it exist. I have met my other half.

True Love

I have written about love and all the feelings that go along with it. I have tried to articulate how in my life I have loved and been loved. Some of you people out there may think I am full of crap or that I'm just back in love but in reality I'm not entirely sure I ever grasped the true feeling and emotion that the word love is suppose to represent. That is...until now. Everything that I thought love was has been completely blown out of the water. Maybe though I have known love in the past. However, perhaps I wasn't letting myself open up to it's full potential or the ability/room for it to develop into what I now know love to be. It's enlightening to a major extent... I feel as if I was living life only half alive. That I was experiencing life half blind. I couldn't live or see what life was really about. I can't even really explain what it is that is different this time around. I just start rambling and in fact have written and rewritten sentences trying to explain my feelings only to delete them. I think though that's part the of this that makes it so much more real. True love honestly can not be put into words. It's an emotion that does beyond all the words in the dictionary. It's something that bonds two people closer together and goes beyond basic understanding. The best way I can describe it is this: It's a glimpse of how God loves us unconditionally. That love can not be put into words. It is a blessing from God himself that two people should be together; when they are able to love each other in a similar way to how He loves us. I believe that's true love.

Curve Balls

Life can throw you curve balls and in all likelihood it will. Dealing with those surprises though can be the tricky part. We all handle them differently. But that's not really what this post is about. A related thought and opening for the following: that being- opening yourself up to be extremely let down and/or hurt. This has been on my mind since talking to a close friend. It's the aspect of relationships that I guess scares most people. That being the unknown. The unknown factor. At any given time someone can just pick up and leave. Cancel you out of their life. It happens I've seen it happen and have witnessed the hurt it causes. It's probably the worst kind of break up. Because when someone just runs away you don't get closure in any sense. I wish I had been better able to talk with my friend and give him some comfort. However, all I could do was listen and offer little advice. It really is tough when you give someone your heart and they shatter it without any real reason. I think it's been on my mind so frequently because it does scare me. I know I am a great person for someone to have in their life so I shouldn't be worried about a situation such as this. Though, my friend is equally as great. I am confident in my relationship, extremely confident in fact though stories such as my friends make me nervous in some way.

The Man I Have Become

It's a strange feeling when you see a change in yourself. I don't think we actually are able to see changes within ourselves too often because it's usually a gradual type of thing. Sometimes though our resolve and character are tested during stressful and emotional situations. It was during one of these such times I noticed and realized I am not the person I had been in the past. I use to react without thinking and that lead to situations becoming more negative than they already were. I have a few things in my life that have led to this transformation. The first and most significant being my relationship with God and turning to prayer as a first resource. Prayer calms me and I am able to ask for guidance. The Lord has always blessed me with relief in some fashion. I am truly grateful. The second being my best friends, mainly Jonathan. I am so extremely lucky to have such a levelheaded, upstanding person in my life. Tonight I realize that as a man of the Christian faith my belief in upholding a strong moral and ethical character will not waver. I am proud of myself for the man I have become.

If The Glass Isn't Have Full Don't Drink It

The human mind is a terribly power thing. Once it gets going there is almost no shutting it down. This is especially so when something somehow sinks in there that plays with our feelings. The mind and our feelings are so extremely connected that one is almost never without the other. It's hard to not draw a emotional connection in some way to the things we think about. For the things we think about are usually things that are important to us.

What I find most people do is offer themselves "what if scenarios" that make the mind believe possible outcomes to situations that can be far-fetched or unrealistic. Though, these "what if scenarios" also do offer a lot to process. In normal situations they make a lot of sense and often lead us upon the correct course. I think that the negative side of the "what ifs" dwell in all of us. We think about them even when we shouldn't. We think about them because people as a whole are naturally pessimistic. We do this at all times in our lives depending on what I'd going on at any particular time.

So, my advice with this mental dilemma is this. Realize that you are thinking outlandishly, take ahold of the facts and avoid the pessimistic attitude. You do know what is probably the truth or reality of most situations and hold a firm grasp on them.

Good Friday

Lord I thank you and am forever indebted to you. You are my inspiration and salvation. You're sacrifice is the greatest gift of all. You are and will always be my rock and shelter. You paid the ultimate price for my sins because of you I will have eternal life. I am blessed beyond comprehension. Love you!

Be Dedicated

Dedication is a quality I have always had. It is more than just a word or action. It is a way of living your life. In order to attain the things you want, especially the things of meaning it takes an understanding of what you have to do to get them. Not many things of worth will fall directly into your lap. You have to put in the time and effort. Time and effort though don't fully describe dedication. It is more than that it is also something you have to feel. You have to be emotionally connected to the thing that you want in your life. Dedication means going out of your way, making sacrifices if need be, and putting great amounts of energy into your: decisions and actions. To be dedicated you have to be emotionally invested, action based, and realize it might take some time. If you are able to grasp and hold onto those things you will usually get whatever you are after. Be dedicated. Be sure. Be invested.