Fear Of Change Is Fear Of Living

Change is a good thing though it seems to me that many people are afraid of doing things differently. People want to live in the past and never escape the fear of change. Painting pictures of the past. By saying this I mean that if we keep living in the past we can not change our lives. We stay idol. If you are afraid of change you can not live your life. If you are stuck in the past you can not live in the present and don't have much hope for a future.

Life Right Now

This summer has seemed to have pasted me by. The past three months have been unlike any other period in my life. Up until last week I was working a minimum of 64 hour weeks; finally I am on a set 40 hour work week. My work week is friday 3pm and I get off Monday at 7am. This schedule has its ups and downs. I miss out of a lot of weekend opportunities but I do get a solid 4 days off each week. Last month I was also promoted to shift supervisor, while the pay is only a dollar more an hour, the real benefit is being able to put it on my resume for a future job.

This is the first time in my life I am making enough money to support myself fully and while that is empowering I feel like life has taken a downgrade in enjoyment. It is setting in more than ever that I am almost 25 years old, out of college, and in the real world. I have some real tough life choices to make. I am afraid of making a wrong decision and hurting myself for the future. Though, I keep coming back with the thought that we only live once and we have to make the most of it before life passes us by. So, the question is...how do I find happiness that will last? I wish I was able to answer that question with some certainty, however the fact is that I do not know the answer at all. All, I can think of doing is living for today and seeing what tomorrow brings when I get there.

Though, I didn't go on vacation, or have many days off, or even go to the beach much, summer was good in a different way than usual. What I mean is I got very close to 3 of my fraternity brothers. These guys have become closer than family to me. Coelho, Jason, Pace I love you guys its been awesome and I hope our bond grows stronger still. I believe it will. I also, met a few new people and formed friendships that I hope survive for more than a little while.

Summer... is more or less over. But the rest of our lives are just beginning.

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I Am A Christian

When I say...I am a Christian,
I'm not shouting I am saved,
I'm whispering I was lost that is why I chose
this way. When I say...I am a Christian, I don't speak of this with pride;
I'm confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide.
When I say...I am a Christian, I'm not trying to be strong; I'm professing that
I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on. When I say...I am a Christian, I'm not bragging
of success, I'm admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt. When I say...I am a Christian,
I'm not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are too visible but God believes I'm worth it. When I say...
I am a Christian, I still feel the sting of pain; I have my share of heartaches which is why I speak His name.
When I say...I am a Christian, I do not wish to judge, I have no authority, I only know I'm loved.

Why Be Negative?

First, I don't understand why people have negative attitudes. What good comes from always looking at the dark side of things? I mean the only argument I can find is that if you never expect anything or hope for something to happen, you can not be disappointed. Those of us that live our lives to this code miss out on all the joys life has to offer. How can you learn anything without disappointment? Through disappointment we learn the real worth of what we have and that which we seek. If you live in a bubble of pessimism you don't allow yourself to have hope or faith. What kind of existence is that? We need to believe, we need to let ourselves strive for things we want, we need to hope and try for something better. We need to have our hopes dashed every now and again. It makes us stronger. We learn from our mistakes in how we failed; in order to grow we need some disappointment. Stop looking at the glass half-empty. That glass is not only half-full but you shouldn't want it any other way. Meaning, in life look at the bright side of the events in your life. If something doesn't go the way you want it, try and correct it for the next time. Do your best to get something out of your failure. Even if that is a harsh word, it is a harsher world and the life lessons you learn will make it easier as we get wiser. Something I said a little while ago, "if the glass isn't half full, I don't want it" really makes a lot of sense to me. I think I meant that in this world the things worth striving for are worth the disappointment if you don't attain them. Because if you don't stop trying one day you will get what you want. This life is yours, and yours alone.

What Is Suppose To Be, Will Be

This past year or so I have realized that during our lives life will throw thousands and thousands of different situations at us. It is up to each of us to make these situations benefit us in the long run. There is a lesson in everything. The lesson I have learned that is atop all others is that... as long as you continue on, continue trying your best everything will work out. Sometimes we find ourselves down and out. We each have those days or weeks that seem to never end. The mornings you don't know how you are going to find the strength to get out of bed. Almost, if not all of us have these difficult times in our lives. The key though is to press on. Keep looking forward. Brighter days are in the future for those of us that learn from our blunders and mistakes, for those of us that never settle for what we have, for those of us that give our best effort in everything that we do. If we follow that creed we will usually find happiness in our lives. We also, have to remember that there is an ultimate plan. There are some things that we can not change... like the past. Instead of dwelling on what was... we need to understand that those things that have happened in our lives happened to give us wisdom for the future. That everything that has happened was suppose to have happened because we either gained some type of knowledge or a life lesson. Those of you that live with any regret, any regret at all, should realize that it isn't regretful at all. That it was suppose to happened because it has made you the person you are today... and if that thing which you regret has made you into a person you don't want to be then you already know you need change. And how can you regret something that has or will ultimately make you a better person in some way? Wisdom comes from living life. Live it. Because what is suppose to be, will be. You just have to do your part.

I Want More

I have come to the realization a short time ago while at work that in my life I am always going to want more. I do not mean that in a greedy sense. I mean that I am going to always want to better myself. I do not believe I will ever settle for what I have already attained. I could find a mediocre job making a decent amount of money that I don't dread going to but that will not be enough for me. The moral of this is that those of you who sit idol and are content with your lives you should be ashamed. There are always more ways we can better ourselves and we should always seek those things out. Better jobs, stronger relationships with family and friends, or a deeper connection with God. There is always something. Something more. I want more. I want it all. Set goals in all aspects of life and as those goals are reached set new goals. Continue this throughout your life, until the day you die. There is no reason why we can not strive to better our lives. I leave it with this... there is more out there... enrich your life by seeking it out.

Moving Forward

So, the past couple weeks have been absolutely exhausting. I started my job full time. Actually, it has been beyond full time. I have been putting in 56 and 64 hour weeks and finally have some time to update my blog. I am moving ahead in my life and doing things on my own. I started looking for apartments and condo's in the Shelton area with Jon Coelho. We both want to get out on our own and looks like we will be able to within a month or two. I just have to catch up on some bills (credit cards) and then once we are both financially sound we will move forward with our plans. Meanwhile, I am looking to take on a second job something for a few days a week to supplement my income. I am happy where I am in my life right now. I just need to keep pushing on and bettering myself. I do not ever want to settle for what I have I want more. I need more... out of life.