The other day I received a message from someone who use to be a significant part of my life. They criticized me for the way my life was going. It wasn’t even in a positive light, it was demeaning and negative. I would love to get constructive criticism but when it becomes pushing your opinion on someone it loses any value. At least to me. Not that I have to explain myself to any person but because I’ve poured my heart out over more personal issues I will follow that path.
My life is what it is. My life. This life is controlled by me to a certain point, after that it is in God’s hands. I can only do so much, open so many doors, make choices in which direction to throw myself. I know I don’t always make the right decisions and I set myself up to fail or for disappointment sometimes but that is part of the process of learning. Each time I falter or stumble I pick myself up and look ahead. I do what is necessary so that I never walk that path again.
Today in my life… I am a unemployed college graduate looking for work in law enforcement… this door is the one I am having the most trouble opening. Though, I will not give up, it is a great struggle and weights heavily on me. I am trying, maybe not giving a 100 percent like I should be but I am really close. There is always more we all could be doing to attaining our goals. I guess the fact that I realize that is half the battle, now I just have to make the effort.
As far as what I am. I am someone who puts their heart into everything they believe in. I am someone who attains my goals, someone who reaches for the stars even though they will always be out of reach. I am someone who believes actions really do speak louder than words. You can say a whole lot but without proving it your words are meaningless. Live by the motto: character in action. This means show your true self and what you believe and who you are by living it each and everyday. Be true to yourself. By doing this I am able to be true to all those around me. Nothing about me; my intentions, actions or words can be construed to be fake or false because I have been true to the man that looks back at me in the mirror. I know I am a man of integrity and principle and I hope everyone that knows me understands that those are two qualities I can be identified with.
As far as someone I am not. I am not someone who judges others. I look at the lives of the people around me and understand why things are the way they are. Good or bad. I am not someone who takes this life for granted. I am thankful. Today more than ever. I am not someone who would ever turn their back on a friend. I am there for you all… literally whenever you need me, no matter the circumstance. I am not someone who wastes time. I take today and use it to make friendships stronger, love greater and the day more meaningful. I am not someone who gives up. I may bitch and moan and say I can‘t do it anymore, but never will I quit or give up a single inch.
Today I am 24 years young. I am living life in a different way that most my age. I worked from the age of 15-22. Then I retired. By retired I mean…. living carefree. You often hear people say things such as, “I remember when I was your age” or “if I could be that old again” or “what I wouldn’t give to do it all over”. Well I want to grow old and gray and not regret a single thing. I want to live a full life and when I am on my death bed at whatever age that may be… I want to look over my past life and know I left nothing on the table, that I made this world a better place for those living after me, I want to pass knowing that I gave God all the praise and glory I could. I want to live my life the way it should be lived. For the Father, Family, Friends, and Fun. This is how I live. Sorry if you do not agree with this lifestyle.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
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