Finding Help

I think that I am officially depressed with life. Everything seems to be going wrong and almost nothing makes the terrible feelings go away. I wake up miserable and go throughout the day just getting worse and worse until I break down... which has become more and more terrible. I can't stand thinking about things and those thoughts eat me alive. I am trying to stay strong but there isn't much to look forward to right now. I really am considering just getting out of Connecticut and starting over somewhere. While the main thing keeping me strong (Sigma Chi brothers) is here... everything that breaks me down is also here. The way I see it is that I wouldn't need a shoulder to lean on if the problem wasn't there. So, even though the brothers are so good to me... I wouldn't need to rely on them if I wasn't a mess.

I know that the Lord is here for me trying to keep me strong. I know I can put all my problems on his shoulders and he will take the full weight. Though, I find myself not doing this. I have been trying to deal with everything myself and maybe that is why I am so distraught. I feel terrible and guilty realizing this and I hope and pray I can change. I need to stop trying to deal with my problems by myself and also putting them on my friends. I need Christ... I need his help.