Common Decency

This is related to my last post because a similar issue is on my mind. That issue being: how people can be so completely rude and sometimes down right mean. I see it pretty much everyday. With people In public, the people I work with, even sometimes with the people I call friends. It's really concerning how often people can forget that others have feelings. Not only is it concerning but with so much of this behavior going on it's easy to lose faith in our fellow man. I mean why do people treat each other this way. I know with all certainty that I would not be counted among this population. I go out of my way to be there for people and support them in whatever way I can. Though, I am troubled because I see so few doing the same thing. So few people showing common decency. I don't even mean towards strangers (while that would be ideal), but towards the people they supposedly care about. How have we as a population drifted so far from seeing what is right? Is it that people are so self-centered that they can not see beyond themselves? I believe this is the case. The world does not revolve around you.

Necessary Changes

Making changes throughout our lives is constant and unending. With time comes change it's ineviatble. Some of us are better than others at adapting to this change. Change happens in all aspects of our lifestyles though I believe the hardest and most troubling is when we realize we need to cut people out of our lives. It's especially hard when the person or persons have been important to us at some point. Though, at the current time they are bringing us down in one or more ways. Even if they have hurt us in some way it is difficult to let go because we do have feelings for them. Whether they are romantic feelings or otherwise. For me at least when I realize that a friend or loved one needs to be cut from my life it isn't an easy process. I always think something with them will change and that person will no longer be a drain on my mental health. Though, that is almost never the case. It is me that needs to make the change...because the person is too dense to realize they are hurting me. The problem is even by me making the change to cut them from my life it is still me being hurt. In the end these are necessary changes.

Set Mind To Purpose

At the end of the day...much like this day I do realize what I want from my life and in my life. It isnt that I am unsure of something. If anything I am too sure. The thing is that I fail to live up to my own expectations fairly often. For one reason or another I settle on something that doesn't exactly fit my original plan. I mean this very generally... it is true for almost all aspects of my life. I could improve upon a great deal. I think about all of the ways I could improve upon the different areas of my life. The problem that I come to is the motivation, or the fact that change can be scary. And, usually one of those two end up holding me back. So, I need to really be more proactive about setting my mind towards what I want out of life. That way I can be 100 percent happy with what I have, and what I have in front of me. Though, mindset would only be half the battle... acting on that mindset is where real results are found.

A Way To Live

It is only now that I realize how much of my life I have thrown away on meaningless crap. Our lives are taken up by people that are willing to throw us away in a moments notice, if even that long. I am sick and tired of giving pieces of me away. Giving them away to people that don't care about me the way I care about them. I mean it is a lesson that we all usually have to learn. It sucks for me that I am learning it so late in life but I guess later is better than never. It is my fault though. I take full responsiblity. In my own head I have enabled myself. I've allowed it to happen. At least I have realized it now... I still have time to correct this mess i've put myself in. I guess I can't even call it a mess beacuse since I've realized it the mess kind of fixes itself. It is just a state of mind I have to continue to keep. A way of thinking when it comes to dealing with other people in my life. Keep a guard up. At least to a certain extent.

What Will Be, Will Be

Life never happens as I expect it to. One day is good the next is bad. It's like some strange test that I am being put through to see how strong or determined I am. Though, under enough stress and frustration unfortunitely even the strongest will eventually crumble. At current time my life seemed to be on an upswing. Everything started to fall into place. I heard back from the State Police and have a slight glimmer of hope for a job with them. And my significant other situation seemed to be improving at least I had convinced myself that our petty fights were over. However, I couldnt have been more wrong. Petty arguements turn into break ups. So, I guess it is for the best... only because neither of us would ever be truly happy if thats how we always dealt with our differences. I say that because we have talked about handling things differently but there has been no change on either side. Well, I am at one of those low points in life right now. I need to get my life together before I try any type of relationship. I dont want anything like a job or money getting in the way of what I want my relationship to be. What is to be will be.

Motivators

All around my life there are motivators. People are finding success with their careers while I am barely treading water. I really want and need more from my career. I have been scared of change in my career I think. The unknown is scary. But over the past week or so I have had a different approach. I need this, I want this more than ive ever wanted anything. I am going to make it happen. I am going to stay motivated until my dream becomes a reality. I am tired of excuses to myself, I am tired of holding myself back. No longer will I allow that past attitude to dictate what I do in the present. The present is mine to take grasp of so that I can influence my future positively. So, that I can reach my goals. I need to continue to always be proactive in my life. I cant sit back thinking something is going to come to me and change. Because, the fact of the matter is...it will not happen like that. I need to give every part of me to my goal. And, that is what I will do. It is my life and I will be the reason it is a sucessful one.

Freedom From Burden

This is going to sound weird, though it is what it is. I feel like I have gone through a change. I have been a different person over the past two months. I believe I actually may have faultered in my faith. Not completely or willingly, though to an extent I did. Maybe not even that but I have looked at the world differently. I knew I was going to change after Shaun passed. I just hadn't realized that I had until tonight. I talked to God a bit and before I knew it he had me thinking about things I haven't thought about because they are upsetting. Memories from my past that I bottle up and have tried to forget but now I realize that these such things need to be realized In my conscience mind. I need to stop looking at them the way I do. I need to be able to look at my past and see that I want a future without any of that present. In order to do that I have to always put my faith in God. I never hav stopped praying about my life. Though, I need to put more faith in my prayers. Cause the moment I cleared my heart to God I feel brand new. I feel like all that was holding me down before now propels me forward. It's a boost in the direction of what I want from life. Knowing that the Lord will always be there to refresh my heart I can find hope in any situation. I have screwed up a lot over my life, I'm not proud of things I've done. I realize I've hurt people by saying things from a jaded heart and clouded mind. I will never again be that person. My faith is strengthened through my personal trials. My resolve is solid. The Lord as my sheppard I will always be guided through his almighty grace. I believe that the book Acts in the bible is where the last of the Lord's miracles were written about or taken place. Though, he truly does work them everytime our sins are forgiven through his only Son. Our hearts are freed of the weight of sin and our souls are broken free from the chains that would otherwise hold them down. The Lord opened up my heart and mind and freed me from more than just my sin but of a past that sat heavily on my shoulders.