God Is Great

It's funny how much writting has helped me over the past 18 months or so. Sometimes I just need an outlet for all of my crazy thoughts. Sometimes I actually write down something of meaning, sometimes not. Sometimes I feel as if God is walking my mind through each word I type, as if he is directing the questions and statements I type. For the purpose of leading my mind down a path that in turn leads me to the answer. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but to me it does. It is also kind of exciting. Like to have God listen and answer your prayers in such a mannor. Anyway, God is great. Today, I again renew my faith in our Lord Christ. He is my rock and my shelter, I shall never stumble with him by my side.

My Three F's

In life you need certain things to feel like you are doing well. These things are different for everyone. Sitting here right now, I know what those things are for me. I need my faith, my friends, and my future. I will call them my three f's.

First and foremost my faith. My faith gives me my morals, it distinguishes my ethical background, and developes my character. Without faith I would not be who I am today. My faith has given me strenght to carry on, when without it I would have surely fallen. My faith has given me hope. Hope is one of the greatest blessings the Lord has given us. Through hope we feel alive, safe, and loved; among a multitude of other cheery emotions and feelings. My faith has given me a sense of who I am, a reminder of who I should be, and the knowledge of who I will become. My faith has beaten back the darkness of night and shed light on every aspect of my life. Most importantly my faith has given me eternal life through our redemmer, Jesus Christ. My faith is the backbone of my world. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
(Proverbs 3:5,6) "

My friends are the people in my life that care about me and I care equally for them. They are the people who would go out of their way to help me out in a time of need, they are the people who call just to say hi and check in, they are the people who I would die trying to protect, they are the people who understand my heart as well as my head, they are the people who I can count on to always be there for me. These are true friends. I am blessed to have a handful of these remarkable people in my life. Without them this life would not be what it is. I don't say it as often as I should, but thank you (you know who you are) for being one of these special blessings in my life. I do need you in my life to feel complete. --- Linked though different is another type of friend I know I need in my life. A significant other. I need someone in my life that I can connect with just as my handful of best friends and I connect. But also on a deeper level. This level is something that I have been missing for the past two maybe three years. The reason for this has been unclear to me for awhile. The question I have had run through my mind over and over again is," God, why haven't I met someone yet". I have been praying about this constantly, day in and day out, without much of an answer. Until very recently, the question now has become, "Is this who you have sent me Lord". I kind of feel silly asking this question. The reason is basically because of my faith. I had been praying for so long and asking the Lord to help bring someone into my life... and now that he has...am I second guessing Him or questioning his intention? So, that being said, I believe that this is God's will, this is someone He has given me the blessing to pursue. "And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him an help meet for him.
--Genesis 2:18".

Now, what I mean by my future is simple. Continue praising and worshipping God... my future is full of unwritten chapters that I will eventually fill, guided by Christ. At the end of this mortal life I know I have an eternal one waiting for me. "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life.
--John 10:27, 28 "

I couldn't pick one...

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
--John 11:25, 26

In conclusion, I know what I want/need out of life to be happy... in brief... A strong, ever growing relationship with Christ, companionship of all kinds, and my salvation. I am growing happier by the day.

His Infinite Wisdom

A lot of us pray. I pray a lot everyday. Not everything I pray for actually happens. Though, I have no doubt that the Lord hears each and every prayer. God in his infinite wisdom knows what's best for us. Sometimes we pray for something and it comes true, sometimes we pray and it will not come true for a while, sometimes we pray and pray and it never happens. I think the Lord knows what to act on and when to act on it. Actually I know he does. However, it is up to us to keep putting our faith in the Lord God and asking for his guidance through prayer. I am thankful for all he has blessed me with; I can only keep doing what I have been doing to live the life he wants me too. That is praying for his wisdom to fall upon me and help direct the choices I make.

The Turning Point

I hate sitting around waiting for things to happen. If I am not being proactive I feel like a waste. I just feel stuck lately...in a sense that I have to sit around and wait for things to improve. Pertaining to my job and living situation anyway. I don't really want to get an apartment because I feel like I would just be throwing my money away, but this seems to be the only viable option. As for my job, it is what it is. I need to get more serious about getting into law enforcement. I need to hold myself accountable and get into a serious routine. The problem isn't not knowing what I have to do. The problem is the will power to face challenges that can yield great reward but are easily pushed aside by laziness, or other less than stellar qualities. Well, I have the mind set and the will to follow through this time around. This marks the turning point.

The Search Continues

Finding a Meaningful relationship has become one of the most difficult things I've had to go through. It use to come so easily. I met someone, we liked each other, we started dating. Plain and simple. Now, as I get older there are so many different dimensions for picking a person to start a relationship with, according to society. I mean the key characteristics are the same between society and my approach: find them attractive, have a good personality and get along well. The above use to be all that was really needed to at least make an attempt at a relationship. Now, however, we judge possible significant others on their job, education and their past. I don't want to be part of that mold. I don't care where you went to school or if you did at all, I don't care if you make 80k or 8k. What I do care about are your moral convictions, your ability to let go and have fun, your wit and sense of humor. I look for qualities such as integrity, ambition, and strength of character. These are all things we ourselves can control and determine. We choose how we are defined based on our beliefs and ideals. While I didn't attend the best university, I am still intelligent...while I don't have the greatest job, I still work hard. And, even though I might never have millions of dollars, I do know what I want out of life... I want to be happy. Happiness comes to different people in different ways. I am my happiest when I have someone to share this life with...so in conclusion: the search continues.

Don't Let Life Pass You By

It has become clear to me that the majority of people in this world let life pass them by. I can not fathom going through life without enjoying each moment. We often don't appreciate our lives, by that I mean, we don't make good use of our time. People in general are stuck on societies beliefs that a successful life is shaped by status and status coming from money, power, and title. My question though is what good are all those things if you don't enjoy the journey obtaining them? I mean I'm sure a select few people do like their rode to "success" but I'm willing to bet that most miss out on a lot of other opportunities often without realizing it. Don't get me wrong either, I do like having nice things and a means of obtaining them. Though, my thought structure is significantly unorthodox, at least compared to what I think is the norm. At this point in my life I am still young enough to enjoy each day and all this world has to offer, without being rich. However, I believe myself to be extremely wealthy. Wealthy in sense that I have great friends, family and the time to enjoy both as often as humanly possible. When I am old and grey I won't have much to look back on and regret ( unless I end up broke haha). But really I'm not saying people shouldn't care about their careers and the dollars they bring in because I do very much. I do have goals and the ambition to achieve them. What I am saying is...find a happy medium. Stop worrying so much if life doesn't go the way you planned, don't let yourself fall into a routine boring life, make extra time for fun...whatever fun is to you, do it more, do it often and do it well. Because chances are when you are old and grey you won't be able to do the things you can today. Time is precious and is spent recklessly in general...at least according to me. Don't let life pass you by.

When You Are Looking...

At different times in our lives we go looking to fill certain voids. It always seems the harder we look the more elusive the "filler" becomes. I don't want to give up searching for these things because I feel a certain obligation to myself not to give up but also then second guess myself wondering if I should just put faith in God to let it happen as it will. It is that ageless question whether or not we control our own destiny? I believe we do to a certain extent, though I don't know where that leaves me. Do I continue searching and all the while praying God meets me half way? I suppose that is what I believe and will do... I will eventually find what I am looking for due to my persistence and God's will or what some call fate and yet others call luck. Regardless of what you believe or what you call it we all begin and end at the same places. That is if we have the same mindset to begin with. That mindset being goal oriented, strong willed, and determined.