Love Is Life

I have been living a life that I didn't want to live. I have been someone I didn't want to be. I never thought that my life would have gotten away from me the way it has. The choices I have made during the past few years have been selfish and stupid. Selfish, because I haven't always thought about others and I have done what I believed would make me happy. Stupid, because I didn't think about the true consequences of my ways. It is really difficult for me to say that I regret those choices based on all I believe about how making wrong choices eventually makes us better people. Though, I truly wish I could go back in time and undo one or two of the major mistakes I have made. I don't know if that makes me weak because I am dwelling on what could have been but honestly if that is a label I get for doing this, so be it. Though, maybe this "weakness" will help me prevent situations like those of the past. I am always trying to learn a lesson from my misfortunes though I am getting sick and tired of trying to look at the good side of bad, because when it comes down to it BAD is still BAD.

Really though, I am starting to get worried that life has passed me by... that all I had was the best it could have been and I threw it all out because I was scared and whatever else. I pray that I get one more chance to make this life what I want and know it could be. I am 25 years old... I wanted a lot more out of life (and had it but lost it so I know it exists). I don't mean possesions like a house, or sweet cars. By "a lot" I mean a fulfilling life. And by a fulfilling life I mean... love.