Tonight my life is hanging in the balance. Tomorrow my life takes one of a few directions. Whatever direction the Lord leads me I will follow. I know I should be relaxed knowing I have so many people praying for me and the mind set that everything will be alright. Though, as of right now I am not sure I could be any more nervous or uncertain about tomorrow and the days that follow. It isn't a lack of faith or anything but the uncertainty that now looms over my head. All that I have accomplished since high school could in form be washed meaningless if this frabrication isn't cleared up. It truly raises questions about how much power some public officials have and their potential abuse of such power. I guess I will find out first hand tomorrow about some of the checks and balaces of our current system. At least I hope that I find out about the checks and balances...if not I will most likely become a victim of the wrongfully accused.
I ask for your prayers
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
He In Whom I Trust
Until recently, I have been very confused about the meaning of my life. I have made many minor mistakes and some major mistakes in my life. I also have made many good decisions and a few great decisions. All of it though, can not be changed. My life is what it is today because of those decisions and mistakes. That quote, "You made your bed, now you have to lay in it", has crossed my mind many times in the past few days. The events in my life are my doing. It is because of my own actions I am living the life I am.
Now, saying this conflicts with two thoughts I have...freewill and fate (or God's plan). I know that they are inter-twined and one can not be without the other. Which, makes this topic probably one of the hardest things to discuss or write about. But, what I do know is that because of the decisions I/God have made for me I am "laying in the bed we made". Knowing that this is part of my plan makes each decision the "right" one. It is hard for me to believe there is truly a wrong choice. Yes, in many peoples eyes there are clear definitions of right and wrong, when it comes to life choices. I have always followed my heart. What I believe is right for me, must in fact be right for me.
For the past few days I began to believe my life was in some sort of struggle. That I was fighting an uphill battle that I could not win. I couldn't catch a break. Then, the other night I prayed while I walked around outside at work. I asked for God's guidence for his help in straightening my life out. To give me some chance to do what I wanted to do with my life. As, I was doing this I came to the realization that though my life seemed to be all over the place...it in fact was in order. Organized chaos...a lot of things happening at once, all in God's time frame that when brought together and thought about made sense.
Now, people may say I am a lunatic for thinking like this and that in fact I just need to keep on the path I was traveling to reach the goal I had set for myself. I would agree with them, though there are so many signs telling me to take a different route. To turn away from the path that seemed so right, sometimes takes a little faith. Luckily, this is the one thing I have plenty of.
This being said, I decided that I do in fact want to pursue some type of military career. I talked with a recruiter today and asked a bunch of questions about the road I want to travel. I would very much like to enlist in the US Air Force. I want to become an officer and serve this country, its people and God. Now, it isn't the easiest process to become an officer in any branch but this is my goal. I believe that I could do the most good from a position such as this. I am going to test for other branches of the military also and see which most I feel I belong. If the AF doesn't work out hopefully I will have other options.
I truly hope that all of my friends and family will support me in this decision. I will need it. There are a lot of very special people in my life that I know for certian I will miss a great deal. But, this is the path I really want to follow and see where it leads me.
"My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust" Psalms
Now, saying this conflicts with two thoughts I have...freewill and fate (or God's plan). I know that they are inter-twined and one can not be without the other. Which, makes this topic probably one of the hardest things to discuss or write about. But, what I do know is that because of the decisions I/God have made for me I am "laying in the bed we made". Knowing that this is part of my plan makes each decision the "right" one. It is hard for me to believe there is truly a wrong choice. Yes, in many peoples eyes there are clear definitions of right and wrong, when it comes to life choices. I have always followed my heart. What I believe is right for me, must in fact be right for me.
For the past few days I began to believe my life was in some sort of struggle. That I was fighting an uphill battle that I could not win. I couldn't catch a break. Then, the other night I prayed while I walked around outside at work. I asked for God's guidence for his help in straightening my life out. To give me some chance to do what I wanted to do with my life. As, I was doing this I came to the realization that though my life seemed to be all over the place...it in fact was in order. Organized chaos...a lot of things happening at once, all in God's time frame that when brought together and thought about made sense.
Now, people may say I am a lunatic for thinking like this and that in fact I just need to keep on the path I was traveling to reach the goal I had set for myself. I would agree with them, though there are so many signs telling me to take a different route. To turn away from the path that seemed so right, sometimes takes a little faith. Luckily, this is the one thing I have plenty of.
This being said, I decided that I do in fact want to pursue some type of military career. I talked with a recruiter today and asked a bunch of questions about the road I want to travel. I would very much like to enlist in the US Air Force. I want to become an officer and serve this country, its people and God. Now, it isn't the easiest process to become an officer in any branch but this is my goal. I believe that I could do the most good from a position such as this. I am going to test for other branches of the military also and see which most I feel I belong. If the AF doesn't work out hopefully I will have other options.
I truly hope that all of my friends and family will support me in this decision. I will need it. There are a lot of very special people in my life that I know for certian I will miss a great deal. But, this is the path I really want to follow and see where it leads me.
"My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust" Psalms
Monday, January 18, 2010
Pressing On
I have been noticing more and more people dwelling over situations in their lives. Grinding themselves for meaning and understanding of the events going on, on a day to day basis. While each of us should have some type of plan for ourselves, it isn't always going to go how we want it to. Our "plan" is always changing in and out of the mold we thought we had set. Live each day as it could be your last. Make each day count and do things that will make you happy. Happiness is really what keeps each of us going. If we have a bad day we hope that tomorrow will be better. Sometimes it won't be and sometimes it will be. However, I have come to realize racking ourselves over what is going on only takes away from what we do have. As hard as it seems sometimes to just let things go and just understand what they are. We have to do just that then move on quickly as to not dwell in something we can not change. Keep pressing on and life will play itself out.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards"
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards"
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The New Year
Welcome to 2010.
Well. This blog orginally began as an outlet for me to express my frustration with a relationship I was in little less than a year ago. However, it has turned into an expression of my inner most thoughts, a way for me to escape from thoughts that sometimes dwel inside me. I have had almost only good feed back from those people who have read it. I am glad that whatever thoughts I have written down in the past year or so have been at least interesting enough for those of you who read it to come back for more. It makes me really happy to hear from people who do read it...though I am caught off guard almost everytime that I am told by someone they read it. Probably because I never really meant for it to be for anyone but myself, though I am happy with what it has become.
Thank you to all of you who have supported me through the past year. Knowing that I have friends and family like all of you behind me makes it each day a little easier. I will continue to do have I have been doing... telling it how it really is...according to me. Thank you again for everyone's continued support and love.
Well. This blog orginally began as an outlet for me to express my frustration with a relationship I was in little less than a year ago. However, it has turned into an expression of my inner most thoughts, a way for me to escape from thoughts that sometimes dwel inside me. I have had almost only good feed back from those people who have read it. I am glad that whatever thoughts I have written down in the past year or so have been at least interesting enough for those of you who read it to come back for more. It makes me really happy to hear from people who do read it...though I am caught off guard almost everytime that I am told by someone they read it. Probably because I never really meant for it to be for anyone but myself, though I am happy with what it has become.
Thank you to all of you who have supported me through the past year. Knowing that I have friends and family like all of you behind me makes it each day a little easier. I will continue to do have I have been doing... telling it how it really is...according to me. Thank you again for everyone's continued support and love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
