The Future

When I think of the life ahead of me I am excited though lately I am equally stressed out. I've grown up all my life thinking that my father did a great job earning what he has in life. He has always expected me to do better than him and honestly I always thought that it was possible. However, the more I look at my life and today's world the more I begin to understand that the dream he had for me might not be entirely possible. This is kind of a startling realization. It's easy to say times are tough but the sobering fact is what that exactly means. It bluntly means that quality of life might not always be what I see it as today. I pray for no drastic changes but really who knows. Times are changing, that is totally for sure. Let me make no mistake - By no means will I ever give up it is just that other possibilities have become possible realities. I am excited about the future even though that gives me even more reason to worry about providing adequately for my future family. God help me.

A Step Towards Confidence

This world is a scary place filled with difficult decisions. That is a fact. Knowing this is half the battle though. If we understand life is going to be tough and that we are going to have to make decisions that can be scary, for any number of reasons. The scariest of those decisions often have to do with our future or our heart and sometimes both. Though, in order to find happiness, many times, we have to take a leap. Take a leap of faith: in our decision making abilities, in fate, and/or in others. Trust is the key to being sure of that leap, which in return actually makes the leap less of a leap and more of a step in a confident direction.

Dreaming Dreams

Throughout my life I haven't really been able to remember my dreams. Only when they were reoccuring was I able to grasp pieces of them but never really remembered everything. However, the only times I'd wake and remember was when the dream was actually a nightmare. I don't know what that means or if it means anything at all. More likely than not it means nothing. Lately though, over the past month I have been vividly remembering dreams/nightmares. More often than not, nightmares. In fact just last night I woke up gasping for air and very startled. I can't remember that happening to me before. I don't know what has changed for this to happen. If I had to venture a guess I would have to say that my life is perhaps more stressful than it ever has been in the past. With that stress has come a lot of emotions that have been illuminated while I have been sleeping. I guess that's my theory anyway. I don't really know. Whatever.