I Worry

I worry that I will never be good enough. I worry that I will not be the person you want me to be. I worry that whatever I accomplish in my life it might not be enough. I worry. My life hasn't been anything near perfect. I didn't exactly lead the Christian lifestyle until a handful of years ago. A lot of soul searching and finding myself had to take place before I was able to see where my life needed changes. That past that I left behind is gone. You can say that it helped me become the person I am today, however the person I am today is a 180 degree flip. I made mistakes and I know I am judged by some for those mistakes. I judged myself for the longest time after realizing my errors. I still have periods of time when I look back and feel like I let God down. I don't think I would have any peace with my past but fortunitely the Lord entered my life. If he is able to forgive me for my past faults, then I need to be able to do the same. I only pray others can as well. However, I worry that I will struggle with my past because it is still comes up as part of the present and I hope it won't play a detrimental role in my future.

Full Days

Life is lived one day at a time. My brother Shaun taught me that. We can't fast forward or rewind, we can't change the past or tell the future. Living our lives for the day at hand is all we have. We decide how we are going to spend that day and it is up to each of us to make it count. Determining what is worthwhile is also up to each individual. Only in time are we able to see with hindsight whether or not our past time was used well. Some of us have more days to look back on than others. Though, I've come to realize that a persons life isn't determined by the number of days lived but how we use those days. I am unlike my buddy Shaun in the regard that I truly believe he spent each of his days enjoying life. I think a lot of us are guilty of getting caught up in the routineness of life, stringing days and weeks together. He had it down though. He enjoyed the simplicity of what made him happy. The little things: spending time with his girlfriend and loved ones, playing all types of games, and in anyway he could retain his spirit of youth; such as dancing. At the end of my days when I am looking back over my past life I want to be able to know I have lived my days just as Shaun had. To the fullest. Here's to you brother, here's to living full days, full of love for all that we should enjoy.